dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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