Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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