so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I need water and some morals
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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