i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
being pregnant is like rehab
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
