I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
