I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
