I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
