I hate your face
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
