Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
