Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
