If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Acid is not a monday night drug
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
