i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
