Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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