you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
