i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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