honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
