out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
