I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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