RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
