Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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