Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
