ya dads aren't the best wingmen
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
40s are totally the cure
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
