apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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