Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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