I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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