I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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