i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
