what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize