we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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