I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Randomize
