Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
