I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
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afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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