WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
