Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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