I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
