Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
