i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize