a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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