Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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