yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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