id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
