I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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