i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There r osticjed everywhere
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
