we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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