I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
