i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
it hurts more in the daytime
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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