First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
