Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
