he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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