If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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