That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
