why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my being single is dangerous.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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