saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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