Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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