It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
