It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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