so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
