I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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