Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
