How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
