why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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