why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
