The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
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what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
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I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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