Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Panties = found
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
