I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize